Over the years, I’ve psyched myself out of a lot of things.
If I’m confident in something (e.g. music, photography), I will easily jump in and give it my all. But if it’s something I’m not so sure about, or something that highlights my insecurities, I will stall indefinitely.
This form of self-sabotage is subconscious in a lot of cases, but more often than not, it’s out of fear.
Sometimes we as humans won’t give 100% of our energy to something out of the fear that the world will end if it fails. Maybe you don’t actively seek out a job because you think that it’s a refection on you and your skill set if it goes to somebody else. Maybe you never build up the courage to ask a girl out on a date, so you say you’re not interested to avoid a potential rejection.
In our minds, it’s self-preservation. In reality, it is a form of pride. We assemble these facades and avoid anything that could possibly make us look weak.
But what we may not realize is that (1) we will never experience life if we continue to avoid the things that scare us, and (2) there are millions of factors and reasons why things may or may not go in our favor, and most of them have nothing to do with us personally.
Rejection from one person doesn’t mean that you will always be rejected, and it doesn’t mean that you are worthless either. Maybe they chose the other candidate for the job because they were a former company intern. Maybe the girl who gave you the stank eye was having a bad day. Maybe it was the right situation, but the wrong time. It’s not always personal.
Moral of the story
Self-sabotage is human nature, but it isn’t healthy. Beating this habit takes work, but it’s worth it.
Take the leap. Pursue your dreams. Fight the temptation to give up. I know it is easier said than done, but you’ll never know what you can do until you try.
